Wildest Dreams
by RowArk
Summary: Revised reposting of one of my older fics After an accident, Regina is left with amnesia, causing her to forget her entire life with Emma. As time goes by and she begins to get used to the new status quo of her life, she begins to realize that perhaps everything is not as it seems, and starts to wonder exactly what secrets Emma is keeping from her. Rated M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

**Wildest Dreams  
by RowArk**

* * *

 **Chapter One**

Regina blinked the sleep out of her eyes as the morning sun came streaming in through her bedroom window. She sighed a little in relief, as the sun shining meant that the torrential storm of the night before had finally passed, and she'd made it home safely after all. She was about to throw back her duvet and get out of bed when she heard the distinct sound of breathing coming from the other side of the bed.

Strange, she thought. She hadn't remembered Robin spending the night last night. In fact, she didn't even remember him coming over at all, and, now that she was thinking about it, she didn't even remember getting home herself. The last thing she remembered from the night before was driving in the wildest storm she had ever encountered in this realm.

Regina guessed that the stress of the drive and the fact that she had been a little too tired to be driving safely, anyway, had caused her to forget some of the details of the night before, and as she rolled over, she decided she could just ask Robin what the hell was going on when he woke up.

Only… that wasn't Robin.

"Emma," Regina gasped, under her breath, as she caught sight of the woman sleeping next to her, blonde hair sprawled out over the pillow. If she didn't remember Robin coming over last night, she certainly didn't remember Emma coming over, and she wondered briefly if perhaps the Sheriff had come over to check that she'd made it home safely, and been forced to spend the night there because of the storm.

But then, why wasn't she in the guest bedroom?

Regina sat up, her heart pounding, and debated on whether she should wake Emma up and demand an explanation, or head down to Henry's room to see if he was up and had any clue what was going on, but her thoughts were cut short as her bedroom door flew open and a little girl with strawberry blonde curls and sparkly blue eyes came bounding into the room.

"Mommy!" the girl shrieked, jumping onto the bed and wrapping her little arms around Regina's neck.

Regina gasped again, and turned to look at Emma, whose sleepy green eyes finally fluttered open.

Emma smiled as she looked up at Regina. "Morning, babe," Emma said, as she sat up and placed a kiss on Regina's cheek. "Morning, Monkey," Emma said, turning her attention to the little girl, who jumped from Regina to Emma, and Emma wrapped her in a tight hug.

Regina was at a loss for words as she listened to Emma tell the little girl to go wake up her brother for breakfast, and the little girl agreed and scurried out of the room.

"You okay?" Emma asked, frowning as she finally seemed to notice the confusion on Regina's face. "Regina? What's wrong?"

"I… I…" Regina stammered, shaking her head. She didn't even know where to begin when everything was currently wrong and she was suddenly wondering if she'd woken up in an alternate dimension or something. "I don't know what's... Emma?"

Emma sighed, shaking her head as a look of concern washed over her face. "You don't remember, do you?"

Regina just shook her head, feeling tears burning at the corners of her eyes.

"The doctor said this might happen," Emma said, nodding. "What's the last thing you remember? Do you remember the accident?"

"No... what accident?"

"Three weeks ago, you were in a car accident," Emma sighed, visibly wincing at the memory of it. "Drunk driver hit you head on. Whale said your head injury might result in amnesia. They thought you were in the clear when you left the hospital, but I guess we're gonna have to get you back in for another scan because this means the concussion was worse than they thought."

Regina felt sick to her stomach as she suddenly realized her head was aching. She reached up and felt gauze wrapped around her forehead and shuddered.

"He did a number on you, but Dr. Whale said, with your magic, it shouldn't even scar," Emma said, offering a hopeful smile. "I did ask Gold if he could heal you with magic, but he didn't think it was a good idea. He thought he might do more harm than good, messing around in your head."

Regina shook her head again. "But, Emma… I don't understand. Amnesia?"

"Yeah. Whale said this kind of injury can result in memory loss. He called it… 'retrograde'. So you basically lose a chunk of memory, but you'll still be able to form new memories, and hopefully get the old ones back."

"But… it was three weeks ago. How can this just be happening now?"

Emma shrugged. "We'll figure it out. What's the last thing you remember?"

"Um… driving in that really bad storm last night. But… I guess that wasn't last night, was it?"

Emma shook her head. "We haven't had a storm in a while. Do you remember what day it was?"

Regina swallowed hard. "It was… October 15th."

Emma furrowed her brow. "That doesn't make any sense… it's only August."

"No, it was October. It was Thursday and it was storming. I remember driving, and then I woke up in bed. Emma, it feels like yesterday. I know what day it was."

Emma nodded quickly. "It's okay, I believe you. I just didn't think… um, what year is it, Regina?"

"2015," Regina replied, feeling the annoyance rising in her own voice. She still didn't have a clue what was happening and this conversation wasn't helping.

"2015. Regina… that was five years ago," Emma said, almost in a whisper. "That was…. I remember that storm. It knocked the power out for three days, you said it was the worst storm you'd ever seen here, and… oh my god, Regina, you were still with Robin then. So… you can't… you don't remember any of this… us?"

Regina felt like she really might cry as she shook her head again.

"It's okay," Emma said, reaching for Regina's hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "It's okay. It's okay. Everything will be fine."

Regina let out an exasperated sigh. "How is this okay?"

"We'll get through this," Emma insisted, squeezing her hand again. "Just like everything else."

"So, you and me... we're…." Regina started, looking at Emma with pleading eyes, hoping the blonde would fill in the details without making her ask explicitly.

Emma gave her a lopsided smile. "A couple? I know, crazy right? But yeah, uh… you and Robin broke up not long after Zelena's baby was born, and me and Hook broke up shortly after that and… well, New Years happened and maybe we both got a little tipsy but it all worked out for the best," Emma said, her grin widening at the apparent memory of that night.

"And… we have a daughter?"

"Hailey." Emma nodded, with a proud smile on her face. "We adopted her when she was one. That was three years ago, and she just turned four last month. And Henry just adores her. He's in college now, you know? In New York, but he's back for the summer, sleeping in his old room just like old times."

Regina let her eyes wander around the room as she tried to take in the new information. Her room was mostly the same, except with a few of Emma's items strewn around - her jeans lying haphazardly over the side of the dresser, her red leather jacket hanging over the back of a chair - and a few new framed pictures. Her eyes landed on a large print of the four of them, Henry with his arms around both of his mothers, and Hailey in Regina's arms, laughing.

"We look happy," Regina commented, nodding toward the picture.

"We are," Emma said. "You really are. You may not remember right now, but you will. I promise."

"Mom!" Regina heard what she was sure was Henry's voice - though he sounded much more like a grown man than a teenage boy now - coming from the hall before a knock came on the door. "Mom, Mom… are you two decent?"

Emma laughed. "Yes, Henry."

Henry pushed the door open and Regina gasped at the sight of him: he'd grown at least another foot and he had filled out. He wasn't that lanky, awkward teenager anymore. In fact, he had a little bit of scruff growing on his face now, and it made Regina want to cry, all over again.

"What's wrong?" Henry asked, his eyes passing back and forth between his mothers.

"I, uh, I…" Regina stammered, finding herself overwhelmed and at a loss for words staring at the son she barely recognized.

"She has amnesia," Emma finished for her, and Henry nodded. Regina guessed this was something that they'd discussed as a possibility. Perhaps she'd even been involved in the discussion, though she had no way of knowing and she didn't really feel like asking.

"Mommy!" Hailey's little voice rang out a split second warning before she ran passed Henry and back up onto the bed, looking right at Regina with those big, blue eyes. "I thought you were gonna make breakfast? You said you were gonna make pancakes!"

"I think I'll make breakfast today, kiddo," Emma said, before Regina had a chance to respond.

"But Mommy said! She hasn't made pancakes since she came home!"

"Yes, because she was hurt, remember? And remember what I said about asking her to do things before she's better?" Emma reminded her.

"No, it's okay," Regina said, forcing a smile. "I'll make them. If I said I would, then I will."

"Apple cinnamon?" Hailey asked, hopefully.

"Is there any other kind?" Regina asked, with a real smile this time. She hoped she was at least interacting with Hailey somewhat similar to what the girl was used to, as she was quite sure a four-year-old wasn't really going to understand what amnesia even meant.

"Come on, Hailey," Henry said, holding out his hand. "Let's go set the table and let moms get dressed, okay?"

"You sure you're okay to cook?" Emma asked, giving Regina another concerned look once Henry and Hailey had left the room. "You haven't cooked anything since you got home. Hailey will understand."

"I'm fine," Regina insisted, as she got up, hoping that perhaps being in her kitchen performing a task she'd done thousands of times before would offer a bit of normalcy to this morning. She stood before her closet, noting that at least her clothes were the same as she remembered. She grabbed an outfit, and turned to find Emma still sitting on the bed, clearly with no intention of giving her any privacy. "Do you mind?"

"Seriously?" Emma asked, taken aback. "We've been sleeping together for five years. You change in front of me all the time."

"Maybe so, but I don't remember that, so…" Regina's voice trailed off as her cheeks began to flush. Sleeping with Emma Swan… for five years. How was this even possible?

"Okay." Emma nodded. "Just let me grab my stuff and I'll get dressed in the other room."

Regina watched as Emma pulled some articles of her clothing from her dresser, and marvelled at how surreal this all felt. She felt a lump growing in her throat, and the moment Emma left the room and shut the door behind her, Regina let the tears fall.

She only indulged in the crying for a few moments before taking a deep breath to compose herself, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her pajama shirt, and getting dressed quickly before heading into the bathroom. She gasped at the sight of herself in the mirror: not only was her forehead wrapped in gauze, but she had scrapes on her cheeks and what looked like a bit of road rash on her neck and collarbone. She shuddered, suddenly grateful that she couldn't actually remember the car accident, as from the looks of it, it had been a bad one.

She just wished she could remember even a fraction of her supposed life with Emma, because it all seemed too unreal to process. The Evil Queen and the Savior? How was this even possible?

But then, if Regina was being honest with herself, it wasn't like the idea had never occurred to her before. Of course she'd always thought about the possibility of _maybe_ having something with Emma, but she'd never really been sure if the hardheaded Sheriff felt the same. She guessed that now she knew.

And now she had a life with her, and a family, and, she wondered, perhaps the chance at a happy ending? They looked happy enough in pictures, and truly, five years was longer than any other happy relationship Regina had ever been in.

She just wished she could remember this one.

Regina took a deep breath and fixed her hair as best she could with it partially covered in gauze. She shuddered to think what her forehead looked like under the bandage, and decided against looking to see. If her cheek and neck were any indication, it wasn't good. She tried to swallow back the uncomfortable lump in her throat, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was very wrong.

No, scratch that. Everything was wrong.

Of course, it seemed like she had a good life here, with Emma, but she didn't understand how any of this was possible. Yesterday, she was in love with Robin, and though the baby was a roadblock, she was sure they would overcome it. It shocked her to think they let something like that come between them, but evidently they had, and she supposed their relationship just hadn't been as strong as she'd once believed.

Regina chewed on her lip nervously as she watched her own face in the mirror. Emma had said she might get her memories back, and she hoped to hell that was true, because she wasn't sure exactly how she was supposed to play house with a son she barely recognized and a daughter she'd just met and a woman she'd only ever been friends with… all while trying to get over a relationship she'd just learned ended with no real idea of what exactly had happened. She wondered if Robin had left Storybrooke, and quickly realized that a large part of her hoped that he had, because it would at least make this all easier.

Regina shook her head, trying to push those thoughts away. There would be time to deal with all of that later, she was sure. Emma had mentioned getting another scan done, and Regina hoped that maybe it would provide some answers, as she still felt like she was lost in an alternate reality somewhere, and not in her own life. In any event, there was a little girl waiting downstairs for pancakes she'd promised her, and memories or not, Regina wasn't about to disappoint a child.

She headed out into the hall and saw no sign of Emma in the rooms she passed. She guessed she was already dressed and downstairs, as Regina had taken longer than even she'd expected to get ready this morning. She kept walking and stopped when she reached an open door to what was formerly a guest room but now was quite clearly a little girl's room.

She stepped inside and looked around, taking in the lavender walls and shelves of dolls and toys and books. Clearly their little Hailey was just a tad spoiled, just as Henry had been at four as well. Regina actually smiled at the thought.

Her eyes roamed the room until they landed on a framed adoption certificate, which was signed by Emma and herself. Henry hadn't known at four that he was adopted, but Emma had said Hailey was one when they got her, so clearly keeping it secret wasn't an option in this case.

On either side of the certificate, there were two framed photos. On the left was a picture of Hailey as a baby, with herself and Emma. She guessed maybe that was the day they had gotten her, or shortly after, since Hailey looked about one in the picture. On the other side was a picture of a red haired woman and a blonde haired man, smiling as they proudly showing off their newborn baby girl.

"Hailey's birth parents," Emma said, coming up behind Regina and causing her to jump a little in surprise. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I just didn't hear you come up," Regina said, not taking her eyes off the picture. "What happened to them?"

"Car accident," Emma said, as she stepped up beside Regina. "They both died on impact but Hailey was miraculously uninjured."

"Another car accident," Regina commented, as she absently touched the gauze on her forehead.

"Yeah… how's your head feeling?" Emma asked, looking at Regina with concern again.

"Better than it did this morning, actually," Regina replied, noting that the pain was almost gone now. It seemed strange, since she hadn't taken anything for it, so she made a mental note to add that to the list of things to ask the doctor about.

"I called Dr. Whale while you were getting ready. He said he can see you later this morning."

"Good. Will you come with me?" Regina asked, instantly wanting to kick herself for how needy her voice sounded.

"Of course," Emma said, with a small smile that told Regina that would have gone without saying. "Henry's going to watch Hailey. And he's making breakfast. I know you said you're fine but you're not fine. Your apple cinnamon pancakes can wait."

"I don't want to upset her."

"You won't. It's okay," Emma assured her, as Regina felt the tears threatening to fall again. "Hey. It's gonna be okay."

Regina frowned as she suddenly became aware of a sound she hadn't noticed before. "Do you hear that sound?" she asked, straining her ears, trying to figure out which direction it was coming from.

"No. What sound?"

"It's like …. A ticking sound … or maybe clicking. It's faint. You can't hear it?" Regina asked, as she looked around for the source of the noise. "I think it started just after you came in here. I didn't notice it before."

"I don't hear anything," Emma said with a shrug. "Come on. Let's go see how Henry's making out with breakfast."

Regina nodded and followed Emma out of the room, noting how much she suddenly felt like a guest in her own home as she followed Emma through the hall. She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing she could just wake up and find that this was all just a vivid dream.

"How's breakfast coming, kid?" Emma asked as they reached the kitchen.

"Mom! I just turned eighteen… 'kid' doesn't really work anymore," Henry said, shaking his head as he poured the pancake mix into the frying pan. Regina bit her lip, not wanting to think about the fact that her thirteen-year-old was suddenly eighteen, and she's missed so much.

"Well, I'm not about to call you 'man', so deal with it, kid," Emma teased as she picked up Hailey under her arms and swung her around before carrying her into the dining room and placing her on a chair equipped with a plastic booster.

"Sit beside me, Mommy," Hailey said, patting the place setting beside her and looking at Regina expectantly. Regina forced a smile and took the seat next to the little girl.

"Sorry I didn't make your pancakes," Regina said, quietly, as Emma headed back to the kitchen to help Henry.

"That's okay, Mommy. You were asleep for so long, I'm just glad you're back home," Hailey said, with a big smile.

"I was asleep?" Regina asked. Emma hadn't mentioned her being unconscious.

"Uh-huh. For five whole days. I didn't know if you would ever wake up!" Hailey said, emphatically.

Regina swallowed hard at the thought of that, as the faint ticking sound started again. It sounded like it was coming from inside her head and all around the room, at the same time.

"Hailey, do you hear that sound?" Regina asked, quietly so that Emma wouldn't hear. She didn't really want to cause Emma any more concern if she didn't have to.

"All I hear is pancakes sizzling," Hailey said, looking toward the kitchen where Henry was still hard at work.

"You don't here a little ticking sound? Like a clock?" Regina asked, to clarify.

"Uh uh. Look! Pancakes are done!"

Regina looked toward the kitchen where Henry was placing pancakes on plates, and just nodded. She wondered if perhaps she should ask Dr. Whale about the sound today, since apparently no one else could hear it.

During breakfast, Regina picked absently at her food while Hailey monopolized most of the conversation, though Regina was barely listening to what the girl was saying. It was hard to focus when this all still felt so surreal to her. It felt more like she was watching the interactions of a happy family, than she was actually part of one.

"It's a nice day, so I'm gonna take Hailey to the park while you two are gone," Henry informed his mothers, once breakfast was done.

"Good idea. Let her burn off some energy and maybe she'll actually nap today," Emma said, with a wink to her little girl. Hailey merely replied with a mischievous grin.

Regina watched the whirlwind of activity while Emma cleaned up from breakfast - after vehemently refusing Regina's help and telling her to take it easy - and Henry and Hailey got ready for their day together. Before she knew it, Emma was asking her if she was ready to go, and they were heading outside, where she saw a black Jeep Wrangler, that Emma informed her belonged to Henry, and Emma's Bug. Regina eyes roamed the rest of the driveway, quickly noting that one vehicle was glaringly absent.

"You survived the accident," Emma said, as she took Regina's hand and lead her towards the Bug. "Your Mercedes wasn't so lucky."

"Oh," Regina breathed out. The more she learned about this accident, the more she was grateful that she didn't remember it. "Who, um, who was the drunk driver?"

Emma seemed to visibly stiffen as she let go of Regina's hand to unlock the car. "It… it doesn't matter. Come on, we're going to be late."

"Since when have you ever cared about being late?" Regina asked, raising an eyebrow as she got into the car. "And it does matter. I want to know."

"Can we talk about this later?" Emma asked, as she started the car and quickly threw it into reverse, backing out of the driveway faster than Regina would have liked.

"Emma! Slow down," Regina gasped. She might not remember the accident, but she wasn't really in the mood for a repeat performance either.

"Right," Emma said, staring straight ahead as she pulled out onto the road and headed towards the hospital. Regina just watched her as she drove, wondering why she was so insistent not to tell her who had been driving the other car. She decided not to push it, for now, and rather to focus on her appointment with Dr. Whale.

They waited in silence in the waiting room until Whale finally called Regina's name. Emma instantly grabbed her hand again as they stood. "Ready?" she asked, looking seriously at Regina.

"As I'll ever be," Regina said, with a nod. She found it odd that despite her lack of memory, holding Emma's hand didn't feel strange in any way. It felt familiar, and she wondered if perhaps some part of her mind still did remember, on a subconscious level. Whatever it was, Regina felt grateful, at least, for the comfort it offered her, as they entered Whale's office.

"So, she's experiencing memory loss," Whale said - rather than asked - as he looked at Emma, rather than Regina.

"Yes, I am," Regina said, drawing his attention to her.

Whale nodded and tipped Regina's head back, looking into her eyes with his light. "Starting this morning?" he asked, looking back at Emma again, who simply nodded. Whale nodded again, and looked back at Regina. "Retrograde amnesia, caused by the concussion."

"Wait, you aren't going to give me at CT scan or an MRI or something?" Regina asked, panic rising in her voice. "You can't just look in my eyes and diagnose a head injury!"

"We've already diagnosed the injury," Whale explained. "We already have your scans, and we knew this would be a possibility."

"Fine, then explain to me then why I woke up with a headache and now it's gone," Regina said, giving Whale a challenging look.

Whale shrugged. "That sounds like something you should be happy about."

"What?" Regina looked at Emma for help, and noted that the blonde seemed remarkably unfazed by Whale's nonchalant attitude.

"Okay, well there's something else. I keep hearing a ticking sound, like a clock, and no one else can hear it," Regina stated.

"Tinnitus." Whale shrugged again. "Common with head injuries. It should pass on its own in time. Honestly, Regina, you're lucky you survived at all, and even luckier that your magic is accelerating your healing. A headache, some ticking and even the memory loss are all still better than the alternative. So just continue to rest as you have been."

"I don't remember what I have been doing. That's why I'm here," Regina said, through gritted teeth. Deep down, she knew Whale had a point and she should be grateful to be alive, but she was finding gratitude hard to come by at the exact moment.

"Regina, honey, calm down," Emma said, reaching out to touch Regina's arm, but Regina shook her off. "What else can we do?" Emma asked, turning her attention back to Whale.

"You can try looking at photo albums, keepsakes, momentos… anything that might trigger a memory, but there's no guarantee that her memory will ever come back. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other patients."

"Unbelievable," Regina scoffed, as they left Whale's office. "I want to get a second opinion."

"Regina-" Emma started, but was quickly cut off.

"No! That was unacceptable. I want a second opinion. Whale's an idiot. Take me out of Storybrooke so I can see a real doctor," Regina said, looking pointedly at Emma.

Emma nodded. "Okay. I will. I'll find a doctor, okay? But come on, you're upset, let's go home."

"Of course I'm upset!" Regina snapped, defensively. "I can't remember anything and he's not giving me any answers. You said I would need another scan and all he did was look in my eyes!"

"Well, I'm not a doctor, Regina. I just assumed you'd need another scan," Emma said, before turning to head toward the door.

The car ride home was silent, as Regina sat and stared out the window, trying hard not to let her tears fall out of pure frustration.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," Regina said, quietly, once they reached the house.

"It's okay. I know this isn't easy for you," Emma said, with a small, encouraging smile.

"Well, it can't be easy for you, either," Regina acknowledged.

"No, it's not. For a few days, Regina, honestly, we didn't even know if you were going to live. Those were the hardest days of my life. But you did, and I know losing your memory must be horrible for you, but you're alive and that's what matters. You survived the accident, so you can survive this, too."

"I wish I had your optimism," Regina sighed, as they entered the house. "I thought Henry was supposed to have the heart of the truest believer, not you."

"Maybe so, but I'm still your savior, remember?" Emma said, with a grin.

"Right."

"You want to maybe try looking at some photo albums before the kids come home?" Emma suggested.

Regina glanced around the room, at more pictures of her and Emma, and Henry and Hailey. All things she didn't remember. A life she didn't feel like she was part of, despite photo evidence right in front of her.

She shook her head. "I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, honestly, Emma. Can I just go lie down?"

Emma nodded. "Yeah, of course. Whatever you need. I'll be here, if you need me. I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you."

With a heavy heart, Regina headed back upstairs to her bedroom. It was familiar and unfamiliar all at the same time, and as she crawled into bed, she couldn't help but notice it smelled like Emma. Of course it did. She'd been sleeping there for years. Even if Regina couldn't remember, the proof was all around her, and yet she still couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. There was something Emma was leaving out - something more than the name of the person who'd hit her - though Regina couldn't guess what or why.

Absently, she stroked her hand over the pillow Emma had been sleeping on that morning, trying to sort it all out in her head. If nothing else, she'd always been able to trust Emma, and she tried to tell herself that if Emma was keeping something from her, there must be a reason, and it must be for Regina's own good.

Or, at least she hoped it was.

Regina felt her eyelids growing heavy, and decided perhaps a nap would help. She hoped that Henry would be back by the time she woke up, and she could talk to him, one on one. If there was one thing she could always count on, it was that her son would protect her in any way he could. If something was going on, surely Henry would tell her.

And with that thought, Regina drifted off to sleep, determined to get some answers when she awoke.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

 _"What do we got?"_

 _Regina heard the unfamiliar voice from somewhere to the left, but she couldn't see anything, and her head was searing with pain like it had just been split right open._

 _"Car wreck. Female, mid-to-late thirties, slipping in and out of consciousness since we picked her up. Multiple contusions and lacerations to her head and face."_

 _Regina fought to open her eyes but all she could make out was a blur around her. She could tell she was on her back, and moving, probably on a stretcher, she reasoned. She wasn't sure what was going on, but she was pretty sure the voices around her were talking about her._

 _"Oh God, it's Regina…"_

 _That was Whale, Regina realized, starting to put the fragmented pieces of information together in her brain. She was at the hospital. Car wreck. Injured. But she didn't remember anything._

 _"Regina, can you hear me?"_

 _Whale, again, but Regina couldn't seem to find her own voice as Whale's blurry face moved into her line of sight. She tried to nod her head, but soon realized she couldn't move it. Something had her immobilized, but she had no idea what._

 _"Get her into the OR," Whale said. "We gotta get this bleeding stopped, and then get her in for and MRI and a CT scan…"_

 _Whale's voice trailed off as everything around Regina started to go dark, and she realized she was losing consciousness again._

* * *

Regina woke up in a cold sweat, her heart pounding and her breathing short, quick and shallow. She put a hand to her chest, her heart feeling like it might beat right out of her ribcage, and the other to her head, only to find the gauze was still there. It hurt to touch and she quickly realized that she'd gone to sleep and woken up and it still wasn't a dream. She sat up in bed and looked around. Emma's clothes still over the back of the chair, and the family portrait still on the wall.

But that dream, the thought, that wasn't just a dream. That had to have been a memory of what happened right after the crash. It didn't really provide any answers, but a memory coming back had to be significant. At least she hoped it was.

She sighed and got up, catching sight of herself in the mirror, and only then realizing that she was crying. She quickly wiped the tears with the back of her hands and headed to her closet to find a change of clothes, since she was now soaked with sweat.

Taking deep breaths to try to steady her nerves, Regina changed and smoothed out her hair again, trying to look somewhat presentable, in spite of everything, before heading back out into the hallway to go downstairs. There was still a knot in her stomach that she was sure wouldn't go away until she got some answers, but she hoped perhaps Henry was home by now.

Instead of Henry, however, she found Emma sitting on the couch in the living room, scrolling through her phone with her feet tucked up under her.

"Hey," Emma said, looking up with a small smile as Regina entered the room. "You sleep okay?"

Regina shrugged, not wanting to let on just how shaken she was feeling at the moment. "Alright, I suppose. Is Henry home?"

"He was, but he went over to see my parents. He'll be home soon. And Hailey's napping. Why don't you come sit down? You still look exhausted," Emma suggested.

Regina nodded. She still felt exhausted, and she took the seat next to Emma on the couch, unsure of how close she should sit. In a way she wanted Emma to hold her and let her cry, and though she was sure she would do just that, Regina still felt awkward and out of place so she decided to leave a little space for now.

"I, uh, I think I remembered something," Regina said.

"Yeah? What did you remember?" Emma asked, putting her phone down and looking at Regina excitedly.

"I had a dream that I was in the hospital, after my accident. But, it didn't feel so much like a dream, as a memory. Whale was there and he said to take me to the OR, and then get me an MRI and a CT scan," Regina recounted, her eyes searching Emma's for any indication that any of this sounded familiar to her, though she wasn't sure Emma hadn't actually been there when it happened, since they hadn't even known who she was at first.

"That sounds about right," Emma nodded. "They called me after they got the bleeding stopped. I was there when you had your MRI, but you were really out of it."

"Hailey said I was asleep for five days," Regina said. "I assumed that meant I'd been unconscious, but I was awake."

"I told her you were sleeping. You were in and out of consciousness for five days. It was your head injury combined with high doses of pain meds. You were barely coherent and I didn't want to scare her so I only let her see you when you were asleep. Whale said, if it weren't for your magic, you'd likely have been out for a lot longer. Maybe even in a coma."

Regina shuddered at the thought. "Oh. Maybe, before Henry gets home, we could try looking at some photos? If I remembered one thing, maybe something else will come back?" Regina suggested.

Emma smiled and nodded, hopping up to grab an album from the bookshelf across the room. When she came back, she sat down close to Regina, opening the book on both of their laps.

"This is Henry's first day of highschool," Emma said, pointing to a picture of Henry looking about how Regina remembered him, though he looked thoroughly annoyed having his picture taken. "He looks pissed because we embarrassed him. Grace was coming to meet him to walk to school together. They dated on and off all through highschool."

Emma grinned and turned to see Regina's reaction. Not surprisingly, Regina's mouth dropped open in shock.

"Don't look at me like that. You were okay with it. Well, not at first, but you came around."

"Are they dating now?" Regina asked.

Emma nodded. "Yeah, but they go to different schools, so it's a long distance thing. Henry told me though that we inspire him, you know? He said if we can make it work despite every hurdle we've faced, then he believes true love really exists."

Regina drew in a deep breath at the mention of true love. She hadn't been sure true love was even a possibility for her again, after Daniel. Robin was supposed to be destined to be her soul mate, and even that didn't work. But true love with Emma Swan? She hadn't even considered the in the realm of possibilities…

And yet, here they were.

Regina watched as Emma showed her pictures of Henry and Grace at homecoming, and then a picture of herself and Emma with Henry, and then a picture of herself and Emma with Hailey, the same one that was framed in the little girl's room.

"That's the day we brought her home," Emma said, smiling at Regina again. "That was the day you told me that your life finally felt complete."

Regina sighed. "I wish I could remember that feeling," she said, before she realized she was saying it outloud.

"You will," Emma assured her, picking up her hand and squeezing it in her own.

"What if I don't?"

"Then we'll make new memories," Emma said, with a small shrug. "Your mind might not remember, but your heart will. You fell in love with me once, so it'll happen again. I'm just as endearing now as I was back then."

At that, Regina had to smile. "You're taking this better than I am."

"I had a few weeks of advance warning," Emma explained. "You did too, but you don't remember. And, even though you don't remember, you made me promise to act normal around you if you did forget, because you thought living our normal life would be the quickest way to make you remember. And I think you were right, so that's what I'm doing."

Regina nodded, and let out another sigh. "I wish you would tell me who the other driver was."

"I know. But I can't," Emma said, turning back to the photo album. "Look, this is the first time we got a picture of Hailey's smile."

"Emma," Regina said, more firmly, drawing the blonde's attention away from the photos again. "Why can't you tell me?"

"Because, I just… hey, Henry's back. I hear his car," Emma said, closing the book and getting up to put it away. "We can do this later."

Regina sighed, but nodded. She wanted to talk to Henry anyway. "I, um, can I have some time alone with Henry?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course," Emma replied, giving Regina a confused look as she wondered why the other woman would think she needed to ask for permission. "I'll go check on Hailey and then get started on dinner."

"You cook?" Regina asked, raising an eyebrow.

Emma shrugged, and gave a small grin. "A girl's gotta eat, right? And apparently, so do children… or so they keep telling me, anyway. Hailey says I'm not as good as you, but I've managed to keep her alive for three weeks, so how bad can I be?"

"I'm sure you do just fine. But maybe I'll feel up to cooking tomorrow," Regina said.

"Alright, you sit tight, I'll send Henry in here, okay?" Emma said, as she headed out to the entryway to greet their son at the door. Moments later, Henry was plopping himself down on the couch next to Regina.

"Hey, Mom. Mom said you wanted to talk to me?" Henry asked, giving her a concerned look that mirrored the one she kept seeing from Emma all day.

"Well yes, I miss you," Regina said, nodding. "I know it doesn't seem like it to you, but I feel like I just missed five years of your life. Emma tells me you have a girlfriend."

"Mom, it's too late to lecture me now, you already did," Henry said, in mock defense. "And you like Grace."

"I'm just teasing, Henry," Regina said, smiling. "But, I have a serious question I want to ask you while we're alone."

"Okay, yeah, sure. What is it?"

"If… if Emma were lying to me, you would tell me, right?" Regina asked, tentatively.

"Yeah, of course I would. Why? Do you think she's lying to you?" Henry asked, the concern washing over his face again.

"No… not lying… but maybe not telling me everything?"

"Like what?"

"Well, for one, she won't tell me who the other driver was."

"She can't," Henry said, simply.

"That's what she said, but Henry, why not?"

Henry shrugged. "She just can't. What did Dr. Whale say?"

"He wasn't helpful at all," Regina sighed. "I thought he might give me a CT scan or something, but he just looked in my eyes and told me to rest."

"Have you ever had a CT scan before?" Henry asked.

"No… well, yes, I guess, but not that I remember," Regina said, shaking her head in confusion. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing, I guess. I should go wake up Hailey from her nap so she's not groggy for dinner," Henry said, standing to leave the room.

"Wait, Henry… do you hear that?" Regina asked, as the ticking sound started to come back for the first time since her nap. This time, however, it was almost starting to sound like a rhythmic beeping.

"What?"

Regina sighed. "Nothing. It's probably nothing. Nevermind. Yes, go wake up your sister. Everything is fine."

Even as she said it, Regina couldn't help but think everything was anything but fine. Nothing was adding up and she was pretty sure Emma wasn't acting anything but normal right now.

Something was very, very wrong. And Regina was determined to figure out what the hell was going on.

* * *

Once Hailey came bounding down the stairs again, wide awake from her nap, Regina decided against broaching the subject of… well, anything…. with Emma and Henry while the little one was awake. She put on a smile as the little girl hopped up onto the couch with her.

"Did you sleep well?" Regina asked, suddenly wondering if she had any pet names for this girl. She made a mental note to ask Emma later.

"Uh huh. Did you? You were asleep when I got home!" Hailey said, grinning.

"I did," Regina lied.

"When your head stops hurting, are you gonna stop sleeping so much? I miss you," Hailey said, looking at Regina with solemn eyes.

"Hey," Emma said, popping her head into the room and interrupting the conversation before Regina could answer. "Dinner's ready."

Regina nodded, and stood, as Hailey jumped up and grabbed onto her hand to head into the dining room. Whatever was going on, Regina suddenly hoped that the idea that perhaps Emma was lying or holding something back was just all in her head, because as she entered her dining room to see Henry and Emma at the table, with this little girl holding onto her hand, she realized that this was as close to perfect as she could have ever imagined her life would be.

And with a sinking feeling, she realized that that was also probably the biggest reason she should believe that something was amiss, because nothing was ever perfect for Regina Mills.

Yet, the family sat and ate dinner and made small talk just like any family would. Though Regina was mostly listening, as she didn't really have much to add, she couldn't help but think how perfectly normal all of this felt. Not a forced marriage to a King, and not a boyfriend who had a baby on the way with her sister… no, just a normal family comprised of people who loved her. She was sure she could get used to this, even if she never actually remembered getting to this point.

After dinner, once the dishes had been done and Hailey had been bathed - by Emma, though she had requested Regina - and they had watched _just one more_ episode of the little girl's favourite show, it was finally time to put her to bed.

"I want Mommy to read me a story!" Hailey insisted, when Emma had attempted to follow her into her room.

"Mommy doesn't feel good, remember Hailey? She'll read to you again when she feels better," Emma informed her.

"No Momma! I don't want anymore Harry Potter!" Hailey said, pouting defiantly. "I want Mommy's story! Mommy, please!"

Regina looked at Emma and gave a little smile, and Emma nodded. "Fine, get in bed, Mommy will be there in a second," Emma sighed, as she stepped up to Regina and leaned in close to her ear. "You've been reading her Black Beauty. It's on her nightstand and it's bookmarked where you left off. One chapter a night, and she'll probably ask you to sing to her. Lavenders Blue, do you remember that one?"

Regina smiled and nodded. "Yes, I know the song," she said. She had always loved it, and had sang it to Henry nearly every night when he was little.

"Okay. She'll probably try to con you into more chapters, and several glasses of water, snacks, whatever. She's stubborn, just like… well, both of us, I guess," Emma said, with a small laugh. "So be firm. You're always the tougher one. And you always kiss her forehead and tell her 'goodnight, baby love' before you turn off her lamp."

Regina smiled and she looked at Emma and nodded. "I got it," she said, as she walked into Hailey's room and found the book on the nightstand, before sitting down on the bed next to her. Hailey seemed to cling to her every word as she made her way through the chapter, and, just as Emma had said, the second it was over, she was asking for another one.

"One chapter, you know that," Regina reminded her, as she put the book back down. "You may have the next one tomorrow night, unless you feel like some more Harry Potter."

Hailey groaned, and shook her head. "I had so much Harry Potter! I like when Momma reads, but I missed you."

Regina smiled down at her, taking in her big blue eyes that sparkled with such innocence, and her heart skipped a beat when the realization really hit her that this little girl was _her_ daughter. This little girl who looked at her with the same kind of love and admiration that Henry had at her age was hers to love and raise, with Emma, happy and safe.

"Mommy, are you gonna sing to me?" Hailey asked, drawing Regina out of her thoughts.

"Of course I am," Regina nodded, as she snuggled in a little closer to Hailey, and began to sing.

"Lavenders Blue, dilly dilly  
Lavenders Green,  
When you are King, dilly dilly,  
I shall be Queen.  
Who told you so, dilly dilly,  
Who told you so?  
'Twas my own heart, dilly dilly,  
That told me so."

Regina continued to the end of the song, as she watched Hailey's eyelids start to fall.

"Sleepy, little one?" Regina asked, noting that the pet name slipped out without any conscious thought. Hailey just nodded, and Regina smiled, wondering if perhaps she had called her that before.

Regina stood up, and had to laugh to herself when the moment she did, Hailey began asking for a snack, just as Emma had said she would.

"You just had popcorn not even half an hour ago," Regina reminded her.

"My tummy wants more popcorn," Hailey said, looking at Regina seriously.

"Your brother used to do the same thing, you know," Regina replied, raising an eyebrow. "Your tummy is fine. Maybe you can have more popcorn tomorrow."

"Promise?"

Regina smiled and nodded, before leaning in to give Hailey a kiss on the forehead. "Goodnight, baby love."

"Goodnight Mommy. I'm glad you're back," Hailey said, yawning as she finally closed her eyes.

"Me too."

* * *

After spending a little more time with Henry, catching up about his life at school, and Grace, Regina finally headed back to her room, where she found Emma in her pajamas, grabbing some spare blankets from the closet.

"What are you doing?" Regina asked.

"Oh, um, I figured I should probably go sleep downstairs on the sofa bed, because, you know…" Emma said, biting her lip.

"Oh... well," Regina started, looking at her bed and suddenly realizing she didn't really want to be alone with her thoughts tonight. And maybe it wasn't really fair to kick Emma out when she hadn't done anything wrong. "Maybe… you should just sleep here."

Emma looked at her, surprised. "Are you sure? Regina, I know this isn't easy, and I'm not going to be offended or anything if you need some space. I've slept in worse places than on a sofa bed, I'll be fine."

"Right. But maybe I won't be," Regina said, quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"I just.. .maybe I shouldn't be alone. Maybe I don't _want_ to be alone," Regina explained.

"Okay," Emma said, with a smile, as she started putting the blankets back. "But if it feels weird or you change your mind, just kick me out. I promise my feelings won't be hurt."

"I'll keep that in mind," Regina said, with a smirk, as she headed to her dresser to find a pair of pajamas. Without being asked, Emma stepped out to give her some privacy to change.

"You can come back in," Regina called to her, once she was changed, and sliding into her side of the bed. Emma stepped back into the room and flicked off the light, before climbing, slightly ungracefully, into the other side in the dark.

"If you need anything in the night, just wake me up, kay?" Emma said, as she laid down on her pillow.

"Okay," Regina agreed. "And, Emma… thanks, for being so patient with me. I know this can't be easy for you."

"Stop worrying about me, okay? It's way harder for you. I just wish I could make everything better for you."

"It will get better," Regina said, with a small smile.

"Yeah. It will. Goodnight, m… Regina."

* * *

 _All Regina could see was headlights. It was dark and they were nearly blinding her, as they seemed to be coming right for her._

 _And that's when she realized, they_ _ **were**_ _coming right for her._

 _She braced herself for impact even as she cranked the wheel hard to the right, in an attempt to avoid the collision at the last second._

 _And then: blackness._

Regina woke up, again, in a cold sweat, and sat straight up in bed, gasping for breath as her heart raced and hot tears streamed down her cheeks. She was aware of the small whimpering sounds she was making, as she clutched her head in her hands. It suddenly hurt so much.

"Babe?"

Regina jumped slightly at the sound of Emma's voice, having momentarily forgotten she wasn't alone in her bed. She turned to face the blonde, quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks as she caught sight of Emma's terrified expression in the dim glow of the streetlights that streamed in through the window.

"Regina… what's wrong?"

"I… had a dream… about the crash," Regina managed to tell her, between broken breaths.

"Oh, Regina," Emma said, cocking her head to the side with a sympathetic little pout, and tentatively reaching out to touch Regina's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Regina tried to nod, even though nodding would have been lie and she knew anyone, even without Emma's built-in lie detector, would be able to tell. But she couldn't even bring herself to do that. "No… my head hurts," she admitted, her voice cracking as more tears started to fall.

"Oh, honey," Emma said, holding out her arms to Regina. Regina hesitated for just a moment, but ultimately decided that between the dream - and apparent memory of the crash - and her aching head, she'd rather be comforted by Emma than try to face it all alone, even if the situation still felt a little bit awkward to her.

Regina let herself fall into Emma's arms, who settled back down onto the pillow as Regina rested her head against her chest. Regina closed her eyes and let out a long sigh, listening to Emma's rhythmic heartbeat as Emma began to stroke her hair.

"Does that feel better?" Emma whispered, after a few moments of running her fingers through Regina's hair.

Regina opened her eyes again, realizing the pain had almost completely subsided, almost instantly. "Actually, yes," she said, confusion evident in her voice.

"You know, I know you don't remember, but you actually like cuddling with me at night," Emma said, with a slightly playful lilt to her voice. "I never would have pegged you for a cuddler. I know you don't remember, but I told you your heart would. Believe me now?"

Regina though for a moment. It had only been this morning that she'd woken up in this brand new life that she had no recollection of, and yet, it felt so oddly familiar, and even comforting. Maybe Emma was right. Maybe her heart did remember what her mind couldn't.

"Who doesn't like to be held?" Regina asked, before realizing that it sounded a little more defensive than she would have liked. "I may come off as cold sometimes, but that's just a defense mechanism."

"I know," Emma said, as she continued to stroke Regina's hair - which, if Regina was being honest, was likely to lull her to sleep again before long. "Trust me, I know you're a softy at heart."

"Don't tease me," Regina said, though she couldn't help but smile, realizing that maybe Emma really did know her, after all.

"I won't. I know you don't like that. Now, you should try to go back to sleep, and I'll keep holding you. If you have another bad dream, I'll be right here."

"Keep stroking my hair like that, and I will fall asleep," Regina said, trying to stifle a yawn.

"I know," Emma said, and though Regina couldn't see her, she could tell she was grinning by the sound of her voice. "I know all your weaknesses."

"And this is my biggest one," Regina acknowledged, as her eyes fell closed again. She was nearly asleep when she heard Emma's voice again.

"Good night, my love," Emma whispered, and Regina felt her heart flutter.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

* * *

The following morning, Regina woke up, once again, to bright light shining in through her bedroom window. She groaned softly and rolled over, expecting to find Emma there. To her surprise, the other side of the bed was empty. She placed her hand on the pillow that she was sure Emma had slept on last night, and found it cold to the touch.

Yesterday, she'd hoped to wake up and find this all a dream, but now she could feel herself nearly starting to panic at the thought that maybe it was never real at all.

But how could it have all been a dream? She remembered it in such vivid detail: the smell of Emma's skin while she laid on her chest, the way Emma had stroked her hair...

Suddenly remembering the way her head had hurt the day before, Regina quickly reached for the gauze on her forehead, but when she only touched skin, the true realization that none of it was real actually began to fully set in. There was a lump in her throat and she couldn't stop the tears that seemed to fall of their own volition, even as she told herself it was crazy to be getting _this_ upset over the loss of something that hadn't ever been real in the first place.

Regina wiped her eyes and forced herself to sit up in bed. She knew it was silly to get so attached to a dream, and she should feel grateful that the accident hadn't really happened and she hadn't missed five years of Henry's life. She shook her head for being so ridiculous, but gasped when she looked across the room. The portrait of herself and Emma and the kids still hung proudly on the wall, and Emma's red jacket was still draped over the back of the chair.

It wasn't a dream after all.

Regina pushed the covers off quickly and hurried across the room to look at herself in the bathroom mirror. The gauze was gone, but there was still a prominent - but clearly healing - gash on her forehead. The scrapes on her cheeks were nearly gone and the road rash had faded significantly. She guessed that must have been her magic kicking in to heal her quicker, as Emma had mentioned before.

Oddly relieved that this was all still real - even if she still had amnesia - Regina headed to her closet to change and then set off to find Emma. Sure enough, Emma was still there, sitting on the living room floor, playing with Hailey, and Regina breathed an actual sigh of relief.

Emma heard her and looked up. "Hey."

"Hey. Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Tried," Emma replied, with a shrug. "That Ativan had you out for the count."

"Ativan?" Regina asked, narrowing her eyes in confusion. She didn't remember taking any Ativan. In fact, she didn't remember taking a single pill of any sort since she'd woken up yesterday; not even a pain killer.

"Yeah. You took it last night when you couldn't sleep, remember?" Emma asked, as that all-too-familiar look of concern overtook her face again.

"No, I don't remember," Regina replied, shaking her head and not even attempting to conceal the panic in her voice.

"Hailey," Emma said, turning her attention to the child still playing on the floor, "why don't you go out and see if Henry needs help washing the Jeep?"

Hailey turned and glanced at Regina with sad eyes and not so much as a 'hello Mommy', before nodding and getting up to head outside.

"What's with her?" Regina asked, confused that the child who couldn't get enough of her yesterday seemed to want nothing to do with her today.

"Do you remember last night at all?" Emma asked, finally standing and looking at Regina in utter confusion.

"Last night? I read her Black Beauty and sang to her just like you told me to. I did everything you said to do," Regina insisted.

"That… wasn't last night," Emma said, shaking her head.

"What? Yes it was. I woke up yesterday with amnesia. We went to see Dr. Whale, and you bathed Hailey but I put her to bed," Regina recounted. She knew she only had one day of memories with this new family and new life, there was no way she was confused on what happened when.

"Regina," Emma said, softly, taking a step forward, "that was over a week ago."

Regina shook her head in disbelief, instinctively reaching for her head. If Emma was right, and over a week had passed, then that would explain the disappearance of the gauze and the rapid healing. "I… I can't remember this week. I only remember that day."

Emma nodded, but she didn't look nearly as calm as she had the first time Regina had admitted she couldn't remember. "It's okay," Emma insisted, though even she didn't sound convinced. "It's going to be fine."

Regina resisted the urge to ask how it could ever possibly be fine, and instead drew her attention to the little girl who would barely look at her. "What happened last night? With Hailey."

Emma bit her lip and looked down. "You, um… she was really pestering you. I usually intervene when I think she's overwhelming you, but I thought you were okay. I guess… I couldn't tell how agitated you were, and... you yelled at her. She's so sensitive, and you've never raised your voice to her before."

Regina felt her heart drop to her stomach. "I…" she started, though she had no explanation since she couldn't even remember the incident.

"It's not your fault," Emma insisted. "Dr. Whale said sudden mood swings and irritability are common with head injuries. Hailey just doesn't understand."

"You're right," Regina acknowledged. "She's a little girl who doesn't understand why her Mommy yelled at her. It doesn't matter that I don't remember. I have to fix this."

Emma didn't protest when Regina walked away from her to head outside to find Hailey. She quickly found her holding a bucket of water and looking confused as Henry explained in detail _exactly_ how to wash the Jeep properly. Regina had to smile and how much of her own attention to detail she had instilled on her son, but Hailey looked utterly unimpressed.

"Hailey," Regina called. She sighed when Hailey didn't turn to look at her and instead chose to pout as she continued to stare at the Jeep in front of her.

"Hailey, Mommy's talking to you," Henry said, gently, but the girl still didn't turn, and Regina was growing concerned.

"Hailey, sweetheart," Regina tried again, this time stepping over to the girl and crouching down in front of her to meet her at eye level. "Can you come talk to Mommy, please? I want to talk about last night."

Despite her continued pouting, Hailey nodded, and set the bucket of water down to accept Regina's outstretched hand. Regina led her around the back of the house to the porch swing where they sat together.

"I used to sit out here with Henry when he was your age, you know," Regina said, but Hailey seemed genuinely disinterested in small talk. "Hailey, I'm sorry I yelled at you last night. I shouldn't have done that."

Hailey shrugged and stared at her feet. "I was bad."

Regina wished she'd asked for more details from Emma, since she didn't remember the event at all, but it was too late for that now, so she continued. "Honey, you weren't bad… it's just… you know I hurt my head, right?"

Hailey turned to look at Regina with worried eyes and nodded. "Yeah."

"Well... sometimes it makes me say things I don't mean and it makes me get angry at people when they didn't do anything wrong. And it makes me forget things sometimes. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Regina attempted, not exactly sure how to explain something like this to a child so young.

To her surprise, instead of looking confused, Hailey tilted her head to one side and regarded Regina thoughtfully. "Is that why you get so mad at Momma?"

Again, Regina felt her heart drop into her stomach. "I get mad at Momma?" She repeated, bewildered. Emma hadn't mentioned that, but then again, she'd only spoken to her for a moment that morning.

"Uh huh," Hailey nodded. "She just tries to help and you get so mad and that's not very nice."

Regina bit her lip as the seriousness in her daughter's eyes registered with her. "You're right, Hailey. It's not nice."

"You should say sorry to Momma."

"I will. I promise. But for now, can you forgive me, Little One?" Regina asked, hopefully.

To her relief, Hailey smiled and nodded, and held out her arms to Regina for a hug. Regina didn't waste a second scooping her up onto her lap and holding her tight. She might not remember this little girl, but Hailey remembered her and clearly loved her a lot, and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt her.

Or Emma.

Regina sighed as Hailey snuggled closer, and she ran her fingers through her soft strawberry blonde waves. She couldn't even remember getting angry with Emma, but she still felt incredibly guilty, and knowing Emma's penchant for protectiveness, she knew Emma probably wouldn't even bring it up, knowing what Regina was going through. Regina would have to be the one to broach the subject, because now that she knew she couldn't just ignore it.

"Come on, let's go back inside. I need to talk to Momma," Regina suggested, though she didn't give Hailey another option as she hoisted her up on her hip and carried her in through the back door.

Emma was in the kitchen cleaning up from breakfast, and she turned and smiled at the sight of Regina and Hailey together.

"Everything all good now?" She asked, looking between Hailey and Regina.

"Uh huh," Hailey replied with a grin. "But Mommy has to talk to _you_ now."

Emma looked confused as Hailey squirmed loose from Regina's hold and took off into the living room where her toys were still waiting. "You need to talk to me?"

Regina nodded and swallowed hard. "Yes, um… Hailey says I've been getting angry with you, too."

Emma looked away and shrugged, in a way that confirmed it all to Regina without the blonde needing to say a single word.

"Emma, I'm sorry."

Emma met her eyes again and offered a weak smile. "Hey, it's okay. Like I said, not your fault. You don't even remember."

"Even so… I know you're trying to help and I just… I wish…"

"I know. You wish you could remember. Or have a little control. I know it's scary, Regina."

Regina nodded, though she was aware that Emma really had no idea just how scary it was. How could she? Regina had woken up once and lost five years, and woken up again losing another week and a half. What if she could never form any really lasting memories again?

"I, um," Regina started, looking away feeling shy all of a sudden. "I woke up this morning and you weren't there and I thought… I thought maybe this had all been a dream."

Emma sighed and nodded. "That probably would have made everything easier for you, to wake up in your old life like none of this ever happened."

"You would think that," Regina said, meeting Emma's gaze again. "But I wasn't relieved. I was more… afraid that none of this was real. I might not remember, but… it feels real. Terrifying, but real."

Emma smiled, and after a moment of hesitation, she reached out her arms and wrapped Regina in a tight hug. "It is real. And like I keep saying, we'll get through this, too. I'll call the doctor again this morning about the new memory loss. We'll figure this out, Regina. I promise."

Regina nodded against Emma's shoulder, and for the first time, she actually believed her.

* * *

Once Henry's Jeep was washed, he headed out to meet with his friends, while Emma entertained Hailey in the backyard. Regina promised to join them shortly, but she had a plan in mind first. She headed into her study and searched through her desk drawers. Nearly everything was in the same place, and she quickly found what she was looking for: a pen, and a blank notebook.

She sat down at her desk, and after quickly booting up her laptop to confirm the current date, she opened the notebook and began jotting things down. She recounted all that she could remember of the day that she'd first woken up with amnesia, and then drew a line and wrote the current date. Under that, she wrote down in detail everything that had happened thus far this morning. She wasn't sure when she might wake up again forgetting everything that had just happened, but she was determined to keep track so that she would not have to face another morning of surprises.

She tapped her pen absently on the desk as she reread what she'd just written, and then flipped ahead to a page near the end of the book. At the top of the page, she simply wrote "Hailey", noting that she didn't even know the child's middle name, and started jotting down what little she knew of the child thus far.

Deciding she probably shouldn't linger too much longer, because Emma would likely become worried and come looking for her, Regina slid the notebook back into a drawer and stood up to head back outside. Outside, she found Emma sitting on the porch swing watching Hailey run around playing in the yard, and she sat down beside her.

"Everything all good?" Emma asked.

Regina nodded. "Good as it can be I suppose, all things considered."

"Yeah…"

"So, I was wondering… will you tell me more about what I've forgotten?"

"Um… well what do you want to know? A lot's happened in five years."

"So I've gathered," Regina said, and paused, thinking about what to ask Emma about. "I'm sure it's not your favourite subject, but can you tell me what happened between Robin and I?"

Emma visibly stiffened, but nodded slowly.

"You don't have to," Regina said, quickly, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. "It's just…"

"It's fresh in your mind," Emma concluded for her.

"Exactly. I know it's over, but I lack… closure."

"Yeah," Emma agreed. "Well, basically, the closer Zelena got to her due date, the more preoccupied Robin became with the new baby. He started visiting her often and lobbying for her to be released from her cell, because he thought the stress of incarceration was bad for the baby. You eventually agreed, since she still had the cuff on, and because I offered to help you keep tabs on her."

Regina smiled. "Of course you did. I would expect no less."

"Yeah." Emma smiled as well. "I've always got your back. Anyway, the baby was born early December, and while the original plan was for you and Robin to just take her and raise her, Robin had a… change of heart, I suppose. He wanted to let Zelena see the baby, so the kid would know her mom."

Regina scoffed. "Zelena shouldn't be allowed within a mile of that child, considering what she did."

"Yeah, that's pretty much how you felt about it at the time, too. It caused tension, I guess, between you and Robin. It got to the point where you two couldn't spend ten minutes together without arguing… not just about Zelena and the baby, it started being about everything. Then… well, he said something so hurtful that I don't know if I should repeat it."

Regina shook her head. "No, I want to know. I need to know, Emma."

"Okay. Well, a few days before New Year's, you two had a massive fight, and at some point, he told you that you were just jealous, because Zelena had his baby and you… couldn't."

It hit Regina like a slap to the face. She'd always feared that, deep down, Robin had been bothered by the fact that she'd never be able to give him more children, but she'd always managed to convince herself that it was only her own insecurities talking.

"You okay?"

Nodding, Regina looked Emma in the eyes. "Yes. I am. It's... it's a lot to take in, but... I'm alright."

Still, Emma reached out to take Regina's hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. "If it makes things any easier, a couple of years ago we figured out how to open a portal to the Enchanted Forest without magic beans. Most people stayed here, but some of the ones who just weren't adjusting so well to life in this realm took the option to return. Robin and Zelena both went. They aren't, like, together or anything, but there was really nothing left for either of them here. So you won't have to worry about awkwardly running into either of them, or anything."

Regina nodded. "That does help."

"So… anything else you want to know about? Happier things, maybe?"

"You said yesterday - well, I remember it as yesterday - 'then New Year's happened.' Care to elaborate on that?"

Emma let out a small laugh as she looked up at the sky. "Yeah, I guess that's a happier memory. Or at least, it lead to happier memories… the night itself is a little hazy."

"Tell me what you remember."

"Well… you were fresh out of your break up, and Hook and I had also had a major blow up, like two days after you and Robin split up, and I had basically told him to get out of my life. I wasn't completely sure then that it was really over, but I still didn't want to see him. Henry was going to a New Year's party with friends from school and you and I decided to ditch the celebration at Granny's and head over to the Rabbit Hole instead. You know, to commiserate. With shots."

"Sounds like we both needed it."

"Oh yeah. So, we were both a little heartbroken and probably a little too intoxicated, and we went back to your house… I think we walked but I don't really remember actually getting there. A lot of the rest is blurry, but we started making out in the front entrance, and I woke up in your bed the next morning."

Regina raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment.

"So that morning," Emma continued, smirking at Regina's intrigued expression, "we nursed our hangovers and talked about whether or not the night before meant anything."

"Clearly, it did."

"Clearly," Emma agreed. "We took it slow at first… well, if you don't count the first night."

Regina let out a small laugh. "Right."

"We were both still getting over relationships and we didn't want to be each other's rebound and end up destroying our friendship in the process. We also kept it a secret for the first few months, but… I don't know, we just clicked. I've never been with someone where it just… worked. Until now."

"And it's working?"

"I mean, yeah. We're still together after five years, so…"

"Emma, what I mean is… together and working are two different things. This life seems… perfect. I just want to make sure it's something I really can cling to."

"You can," Emma assured her, squeezing her hand again. "I mean, it's not sunshine and roses all the time, because we're still us, and we're both stubborn as hell, but we also… I don't know, understand each other on a deeper level, I guess. You know me better than anyone else does. You see all parts of me, even the ones I'm not proud of, and love me anyway. I've never had that before."

Regina couldn't help but smile at that. "And you see all parts of me? Even the ones I'm really not proud of?"

"Yeah. And I love you anyway. Maybe I even love you more for it, because I know you better than anyone else does, and you're more real with me than you are with anyone."

Regina felt a sadness overtake her smile as she looked at Emma seriously. "I wish I could remember."

Emma nodded. "I know."

* * *

Over the next few days, Regina maintained her new routine of writing down everything that happened each day, as she got used to this new life. She learned that Hailey's middle name was Marie, and that Henry was studying Literature at NYU, in hopes of becoming a writer. Nothing new was coming back to her, but she found that she was waking up each morning with memories of the day before that lined up perfectly with what she'd written down that night before bed.

It wasn't long, however, before Regina found herself incredibly grateful for keeping the notebook.

On a Friday night, just over a week since she'd started keeping track, she was hearing the beeping noise again. She hadn't heard it in days, but tonight, it was so intense she couldn't focus on anything else.

"How can I be the only one hearing this?" Regina lamented out loud, once Hailey was asleep.

"Babe," Emma said gently, a pet name she'd apparently been using for a while before Regina's amnesia, and had started using again now that things seemed to be smoothing out. It was awkward at first, but Regina had found herself growing used to it, and even fond of it. "It's not a real sound. It's from your head injury. You know that."

Regina shook her head, and immediately regretted it when she felt a sharp pain in her forehead. She reached for her head, and brushed Emma's hand away when Emma attempted to reach out for her. "It sounds like it's coming from someplace else!" Regina insisted.

"I know. But it's not. Regina-"

"I just want to go to bed."

And she did, after quickly scribbling the day down in her notebook before sleep overtook her. The next morning she woke up, feeling refreshed, headache and beeping gone, fully expecting it to be Saturday.

"Thursday," Regina whispered to herself, when she picked up the notebook from her nightstand. Emma was already out of bed, and she could tell by the brightness of the sun that it was already fairly late in the morning.

She flipped back in her notebook until she found the entry from the previous Friday. Sure enough, there was everything from the last day she remembered, and several pages written in after that, that were completely wiped from her memory.

 _Saturday_

* * *

 _Today was a better day than yesterday. My headache was gone and we took Hailey to the park all morning. Henry and Grace came along. We took the kids for ice cream, and went for a walk down by the docks. Emma held my hand and it didn't feel out of place._

 _The beeping was back in the afternoon, but no headache accompanied it this time, which was a relief. This time, however, I could have sworn I heard voices whispering around me, though I couldn't make out what they were saying. I didn't tell Emma this. I think all of this worries her far more than she's willing to let on._

* * *

 _Sunday_

* * *

 _Henry goes back to school in New York tomorrow. Emma swears I knew this, but I don't remember. In any event, we spent the morning helping him pack up, and he spent the afternoon visiting with friends. I'm not quite sure I'm ready for him to go, and to just be here with Emma and Hailey. Despite the fact that he's grown up so much, Henry is still my only constant, and I fear I'll be lost in this new life without him._

* * *

 _Monday_

* * *

 _Henry took his Jeep back to New York today. I wish we could have driven him. I'd like to see the place he's living in, though he and Emma both insist I've been there before and approve of it._

 _It was a tearful goodbye and it hurt so much to see my son go. Emma says it was harder the first time he went, and I almost wish I could remember that moment. Perhaps that would have made it easier this time around._

 _Hailey didn't leave my side all afternoon. I think she must have known I took it hard._

* * *

 _Tuesday_

* * *

 _The house feels empty without Henry._

 _And I'm starting to worry about Emma._

 _I know she would insist she was fine if I tried to ask her, but as hard as this is for me, it must be just as hard on her. Up until a few weeks ago she had a life and a partner and now she's lost that, even though I'm right here. I can't imagine how that feels, but…_

 _I don't know what to do._

* * *

 _Wednesday_

* * *

 _I had another dream about the hospital last night. It was the first one in weeks, and it, too, felt more like a memory than a dream. Emma was there, sitting by my side and holding my hand, urging me to fight, telling me that my family needs me and she doesn't know what she'd do without me._

 _I wish I could remember… it's so unfair. To both of us._

* * *

Regina reread the last two entries over and over. She didn't remember having these thoughts, but now that it was in her head, she couldn't help but wonder what kind of struggle Emma was going through right now. It reminded her of when Emma had brought Henry back to Storybrooke, and he couldn't remember her. She remember what it felt like to have her son look at her like she was just any other stranger.

This wasn't the same, and yet Regina knew Emma must be struggling just as much. And Regina had to commend the way she held it together, putting on a smile and a brave face and reassuring her that it would all be fine and they'd make it through. Emma was so busy being strong for her, but now with Henry gone, who would be Emma's rock in all of this?

* * *

"Hey, you okay?" Emma asked, the moment Regina stepped into the kitchen that morning.

"Do I seem not okay? Or do you ask me that every morning?" Regina asked, wondering if she was already letting off a different air that morning.

"You don't remember if I ask you that or not?"

Regina shook her head. "I lost more time."

"How much?"

"Five days."

"Oh, Regina. It's-"

"Going to be okay, I know," Regina finished Emma sentence with a nod. "I'm not worried about that. Well, not right now. Right now, I'm worried about you."

"Me? Regina, I'm fine. I don't want you to worry about me."

"Are you fine? This really can't be easy for you, Emma. And with Henry gone, there's a lot of pressure falling on your shoulders right now."

Emma shrugged and smiled. "I kinda got used to pressure since coming to Storybrooke, you know? I can handle this. I'm good."

"Emma." Regina took a step closer to her. She might not be able to remember everything that happened, but she _knew_ Emma. And she knew when she was burying something and putting on a brave face. "Talk to me."

Emma looked as though she were about to continue to protest, but Regina didn't miss the tear that escaped from her eye. And she knew Emma knew she saw it. That single display of weakness was all it took.

"I just…" Emma sighed. "I miss you."

This time, it was Regina who held her arms open for Emma, and Emma immediately fell into her embrace, squeezing her tight like she was holding on for dear life.

"I know it doesn't make sense, because you're right here," Emma said softly, into Regina's ear. "But I miss you. I miss our closeness, and holding you. I miss kissing you."

Regina took a deep breath and moved back so she could look at Emma's face. New tears were falling and she could see how much of her struggle Emma had been holding in. "Kiss me, then."

"What?"

"Kiss me."

"But you don't remember… it's not… I don't want to take advantage of you when you're going through all of this."

"You're not, I promise. It's just a kiss, Emma. Maybe it will jog a memory?"

Emma smiled, seemingly taking that as a good enough reason to close the small distance between them. Regina gasped as Emma's lips actually met her own, before relaxing and closing her eyes, relishing the feel of Emma's lips against hers.

Emma kissed her hard, with an urgent need, lacing her fingers through Regina's hair. And it felt good, in a way Regina wasn't really expecting. She hadn't expected Emma to be a bad kisser by any means, but there was something so electric, and it aroused feelings in Regina that she hadn't expected.

She wasn't sure if it was the excitement of experiencing Emma's lips for what felt to her like the very first time, or if the kiss was sparking residual feelings locked someplace inaccessible in Regina's brain, but either way, when she finally broke it off and moved back to look in Emma's eyes again, it was with a whole new appreciation for the woman standing in front of her.

"Did it work?" Emma asked, her hopeful voice barely a whisper.

Regina shook her head. "It didn't jog any memories, but…"

"But?"

"Feelings, maybe? That was… Emma, I can't remember the last time someone has kissed me like that."

Emma smiled, that sort of self-confident smile that Regina always loved seeing on her. "Well, I am a good kisser. And I know what you like."

"Apparently so," Regina agreed.

Emma smirked, and ran her fingers through Regina's hair. "I love you, you know."

"Do you?" Regina asked, immediately, before shaking her head. "Sorry, I mean… why?"

To her surprise, Emma didn't look hurt or confused, she just kept smiling. "Why? Because I fell in love with you, that's why. I know it still probably seems crazy to you, but it's not that crazy, is it? I mean, you can remember up to the October before we got together… that was only a few months before. You had to… have had some sort of feelings then?"

Regina bit her lip and slowly nodded, feeling herself blush. Why was she embarrassed to admit it to Emma? After all, in Emma's world, they'd already been together for years, even if she was stuck someplace five years before.

"I know it's a lot," Emma continued. "And I know it's hard with all that time missing, but babe, if we have to start over again from the beginning, then we will. I want a life with you no matter what. Your heart will remember. Give it time."

Regina nodded. She was becoming more and more confident that maybe Emma was right. Every day felt more familiar and she felt safe here, in spite of everything. Maybe her heart really did know.

"Kiss me again?"

Emma grinned. "Of course. Any time."


	4. Chapter 4

_Regina opened her eyes slowly, blinking against white lights that seemed far too bright. Her eyelids felt heavy and it was hard to keep them open, much less focus on anything specific. Everything looked like blurry blobs of solid colour against the brightness and she couldn't figure out exactly where she was._

 _She heard herself let out a small groan, and only became aware that someone was holding her hand when they suddenly squeezed it._

" _Regina? Are you awake?"_

 _Regina blinked again. It was Emma's voice, but she sounded muffled and far away._

" _Emmm… Emmm…" Regina could hear her own voice trying to form Emma's name, though she couldn't really feel her mouth moving. It was all so surreal._

" _I'm right here, Regina, I'm right here."_

 _Regina felt that squeeze on her hand again, and another hand come to rest gently on her cheek, and though Emma's voice still sounded miles away, Regina breathed a sigh of relief realizing that must be who was touching her. Emma was right there._

" _Emmm…"_

" _Shh, it's okay, don't try to move," Emma said, stroking her cheek. Regina hadn't even been aware that she was trying to move. "Just relax. You were in an accident, and you're hurt, but you're gonna be okay, alright? Just relax. You're in the hospital and you're not alone. I'm right here."_

 _Her eyelids were so heavy, and Regina gave up on trying to focus, and closed her eyes again._

* * *

Regina's eyes fluttered open slowly. It only took a moment for her dream to come back to her, and she realized, for once, that she hadn't woken up in a panic after a dream about her accident. She furrowed her brow slightly, contemplating it, and wondered if she felt calm and safe because Emma had been there.

"Emma," she whispered aloud, turning to tell her about this latest returned memory. So far, all the memories she'd gotten back had been about the hospital or the accident itself, but still that meant more things were slowly coming back, and she wondered if that was the beginning to getting all of her memories back, eventually.

To her disappointment, Emma's side of the bed was empty. She sighed and glanced at the clock, noting that it was well after eleven in the morning, and Emma had likely been up at the crack of dawn with Hailey, as she usually was.

Regina had never been one for sleeping in so late, but that seemed to be the norm for her lately, and she supposed she also had her head injury to thank for that. Without fail, she'd always woken up before her alarm for as long as she'd been in this realm. It was to the point where she didn't think she really even needed it, her internal clock just knew when to wake her up.

Now, however, time didn't seem to function the same as it used to. Days seemed shorter than they ever had, though she wasn't really doing much, and she found herself quite often surprised to realize how late it already was, just as she was this morning.

Regina stretched and turned to grab her notebook from her nightstand, reminding herself that things would return to normal eventually. Perhaps once she was back to work and her normal routine, time would slow down to the right pace again. She hoped it would, at least.

She opened the book. If she hadn't lost any time, it should be Friday. She smiled to herself as she flipped the notebook open, remembering how she'd written about kissing Emma in there the night before.

"Monday," Regina said with a frown. So she'd lost two days. She let out a frustrated sigh as she started flipping back to read what she'd forgotten.

It only took Regina a moment to realize that she had to go back further than two entries to find the last one she remembered making. She hadn't lost two days, she'd lost a week and two days. She felt sick as she finally made it back to the Thursday she'd asked Emma to kiss her, and started reading the entries that followed.

 _Saturday_

* * *

 _I've been seeing a new side of Emma since yesterday. I thought letting her kiss me would help me remember, but it seems to have helped her even more. She's so cheeky and playful, and much more vibrant than I've seen her since… well, ever, really. She seems so truly happy and comfortable, like she's let all of her walls down. It's refreshing to see, but I wish I could remember how she got to this place._

 _I've noticed that she never mentions Hook, and I suppose that's because he's ancient history to her now, but today I couldn't help but think of how defeated she always seemed when she was with him. That seems so recent to me; I can remember it perfectly. She never seemed truly happy, and now… well, is it possible that I have had the opposite effect on her? Could this relationship be the reason for this change? She says she loves me…_

* * *

 _Sunday_

* * *

 _This infernal beeping is getting the better of me today, and I wish I could fully convey to Emma how this sound grates on my very last nerve. I'm trying hard not to let it show because things are going well and I don't want to dampen that by acting irritable, but it's hard to take. I just don't want her to think I'm frustrated with her when that's so far from the case._

 _Today, I did some research on tinnitus, and I don't care what Whale says, that's not what this is. The man's a quack but Emma says she's had no luck trying to get me in to a doctor outside of Storybrooke._

 _Despite the fact that my head wounds seem to be nearly healed on the outside, this pounding headache also still comes and goes. I can't recall ever taking a pain killer, not even once, so it makes no sense. Further to that, Emma has told me, on several occasions, that I take something to sleep, but I don't remember taking any pills. This is so strange._

 _Is it possible I'm losing small bits of time even on the days I can remember?_

* * *

Regina paused, rereading the last sentence again, and then glanced at the clock. It was nearly noon. How long had it been since she woke up?

She shook her head, wondering how she could possibly keep track of the minutes and hours when she could barely keep up with the days. She sighed and flipped over the page, but to her surprise, the writing she saw on the next page wasn't hers; it was Emma's.

Regina frowned. How had she not noticed this when she was flipping back through the pages? Emma hadn't even wrote in the same colour ink and she'd been using. She chalked it up to the stress of realizing she had lost more time, and began to read what Emma had written.

 _Regina…_

 _Please, just come back to us. I'm not giving up, and neither is Henry, so guess what? You don't get to either, because we need you. And we miss you. You're a fighter Regina, nothing keeps you down. Remember that, okay? You're stronger than this, and… well, I can't do it without you. I don't know how to be a mother all by myself. I need you. We all do._

* * *

Regina's frown deepened. What did Emma mean, 'I don't know how to be a mother all by myself'? She may not remember the last few years, but Regina certainly remembered how to be a mother.

She wondered if perhaps Emma had written this before. Perhaps when she was still in the hospital and they weren't sure she was going to make it? Regina had assumed the notebook was blank when she'd picked it out of the drawer, but she hadn't really checked. She wondered if she'd noticed this entry before, in the time she'd forgotten. Perhaps she'd even asked Emma about it already.

Her head was spinning just thinking about it.

Halfheartedly, Regina read the rest of the entries. She learned that Hailey had started school the previous Monday, and her heart sank realizing that she'd lost an important day. Even if she didn't really know the little girl well yet, it still hurt.

She continued on to learn that Emma had started back to work the next day, though she really hadn't wanted to and thought it was too soon to be leaving Regina alone, the station was far too understaffed and she'd had no choice.

The rest of the entries talked about headaches and ringing and trying to adjust to another new schedule. Regina put the book down and got up to walk over to the bedroom window. She pushed the curtains back and peered down to the driveway. Sure enough, Emma's bug was absent and she guessed she was already off to work for the day. Even if she'd wanted to ask Emma about what she'd written in the book, it would have to wait now, so she decided to try to put it out of her mind for now.

Sighing, Regina reached up to wipe away the few tears that had escaped while she'd been reading. It was so unfair that this was happening, and she couldn't help but think it was some sort of karma for her past misdeeds. Afterall, she'd taken away everyone's memories for years, so wasn't it fitting that the same thing would happen to her when she was finally happy?

She shook the thought from her head. Wallowing wasn't going to help anything, and she figured she might as well just get on with her day.

After showering and getting dressed, Regina headed down to the kitchen to make some lunch. The clock said it was nearly one thirty by the time she got the leftover chicken parmesan in the microwave, and she shook her head in disbelief.

The microwave dinged moments later, and as she took the plate out, Regina realized she couldn't remember the last time she'd reheated something this way. Perhaps right after the curse broke, when she was heartbroken over losing Henry? She couldn't really remember, but she also knew she couldn't be bothered reheating it in the oven as she'd normally do. She just didn't seem to have the willpower.

Though she was hungry, Regina just picked at her food as she sat at the table and stared out the window. She was too anxious to really eat, and now that she thought about it, a little too lonely.

It was strange to her, since she'd spend decades alone, and even spent ample time on her own once she'd gotten Henry. She'd always been able to cope when he left for school for the day, but today she just couldn't deal with the empty house. Maybe it was because she'd gotten so used to having a whole family around, or maybe…

It hit her then. She missed Emma.

Swallowing back the lump in her throat, Regina got up, completely forgetting about the barely touched food on her plate as she made her way to the door. She wasn't even fully thinking it through, she just knew she needed to get to the station and see Emma. Her shoes were barely on before she was out the door, and moments later she stood, staring at the empty driveway.

"Shit," she mumbled to herself, remembering that she no longer had a vehicle. "There goes that idea."

Briefly, Regina considered just walking to the station, but decided against it, for fear that she'd be stricken with another headache along the way. Instead, she went back inside and grabbed a photo album off of the bookshelf before settling in on the couch. She may have to wait a few more hours to actually spend time with Emma, but in the meantime, she decided pictures were the next best thing.

She curled up, tucking her legs underneath her as she opened the album. It was a different one from the one Emma had shown her before, apparently from a vacation they'd taken. There were pictures from a beach, and Henry was there, though he looked much younger than he did now, and much more the way Regina had remembered him. She didn't see Hailey in any of them, and she decided this must have been from a time before they'd adopted her.

Regina smiled as she took in the photos before her. She might not be able to remember, but she could see how happy they looked. There were photos of Emma burying Henry up to the neck in sand, photos of Emma and Henry splashing each other in the water. Regina guessed she must have been the one taking the pictures, since she hadn't seen any of herself yet.

Finally, on the fifth page, there was a photo of the three of them. Regina was in the middle, Henry hugging her from one side, and Emma on the other, one arm around her and one arm outstretched, apparently taking the photo. Emma was grinning widely, the skin on her cheeks and nose a little pink from the sun. Regina wondered if she had to pester her about sunscreen the way she'd always had to with Henry.

Henry looked like he was mid-laugh, and there was sand on his arms and shoulders, and Regina guessed this photo was taken shortly after he'd escaped being buried in the sand.

But the face that drew her in most was her own. She was beaming, and though she could tell the sun was her her eyes by the way she was squinting, her smile was genuine. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt as happy as she looked in that picture, and it made her think back to what she'd written about Emma.

Maybe this relationship had brought out the best in both of them?

Before she really had time to think on that, she heard the click of the front door opening, and her heart skipped a beat. It had to be Emma.

Sure enough, moments later, Emma breezed into the living room with a "hey, babe!"

"Hey," Regina breathed out, staring up at her.

"Whatcha doing?" Emma asked, nodding toward the photo album in Regina's hand.

"I just, uh…" Regina stammered, suddenly feeling like it would be silly to admit she'd been looking at pictures because she'd missed her.

"You okay?" Emma asked, moving to sit next to next to Regina and take the photo album from her hands.

Regina watched as Emma placed the album, still open, behind her on the couch.

"Babe?"

"Kiss me," Regina said, suddenly. She hadn't even had a chance to think about what she'd said, she just knew she needed to be closer to Emma. Right now.

Emma grinned and complied, leaning in to close the short distance between them, pressing her lips hard against Regina's. The spark when their lips made contact was electric, and Regina thought she might just be able to get lost in this feeling forever.

Regina felt Emma's fingers lacing through her hair, bringing her closer as her tongue entered her mouth, and Regina gasped as she felt herself starting to get wet.

Pulling back for a moment, Emma looked seriously into her eyes. "You okay?"

Regina nodded emphatically. "Very okay," Regina replied, surprising herself with how low and sultry her own voice sounded.

Emma smiled. "Okay," she said, leaning in to kiss her again.

Momentarily, it occurred to Regina that maybe they could take it further. Surely, Emma would agree if she asked, though she wasn't completely sure she was ready. Part of her wanted to just give in and go for it, but another part was still guarded and unsure.

Either way, the opportunity slipped away as Emma pulled back again, and pushed a few strands of Regina's hair away from her face. "I've gotta get Hailey from school soon," she said, and Regina nodded. "You wanna come with me?"

Regina smiled. "Yes."

"Great." Emma continued to look into her eyes and smile for a moment, her fingers still in Regina's hair. "I love you."

Regina swallowed, and though she desperately wanted to say it back, she couldn't seem to make herself say the words.

For her part, Emma seemed to notice the internal struggle going on, and she said, "it's okay. We should go."

"Yes," Regina said quietly, and she allowed Emma to take her hand and help her stand back up. She squeezed Emma's hand the way she'd remembered Emma doing in her dream, and tried to reconcile the thoughts and feelings swirling inside her right now.

A big part of her felt like these feelings were being awoken for the first time, but her logical brain knew that these feelings must already exist, and she'd just forgotten them. It was such an odd thing, feeling like she was in a brand new relationship when they were already five years in. It was new and familiar at the same time, and though she liked this exciting feeling, she wished, more desperately than ever, that she could just remember.


End file.
